Brighton international festival of custard

Adorned in their finest yellow ties, yellow waistcoats and yellow frocks the annual gathering of the custard society is underway. Today it appears they are offering cash prizes to regions that recruit more woman and people who arent white into their club. Custard diversity is top of the agenda!
STORY

Colonel Custard gave a speech to an echoey hall yesterday, which went down like lumpy semolina. The yellows vow to ban cars and ditch the pound at their earliest convenience and also let out of jail as many prisoners as possible, no-one should have to put up with awful prison custard they cry!

Rumours are circulating that someone spiked the sherry trifle with whisky at last nights daft pudding ball, lets hope the culprit gets their just desserts!